As a therapist, I have often met colleagues who express hesitancy when it comes to working with veterans and service members in therapy (often because of some misguided beliefs about who veterans are and what it will be like to work with them in that capacity.) And when I share that I am also a veteran, I get a lot of strange looks or comments. Either I don’t look like a veteran, or I’m asked how I managed to become a therapist, or some other deeply personal question about my experience in the service.

I am not the first veteran and therapist, nor will I be the last. But I would like to take up some space on the internet and share a few things that my fellow clinicians should consider when working with veterans and service members.

Veterans, like any other group of people who share an identity, are not a monolith. Our experiences are shaped by intersectional factors such as: time period served, discharge status, race, gender, sexuality, and branch of service, just to name a few. Each of these identifiers can influence not only how veterans experienced their service but also how they have been treated because of it. Understanding this complexity isn’t just helpful background knowledge. It’s essential to providing ethical, culturally competent, and affirming care.

If you’ve ever found yourself uncertain about how to approach a veteran or servicemember as a client because you’re worried about saying the wrong thing or stepping into unfamiliar territory this post is for you. My hope is it will both highlight your curiosity and give you some clarity. Below you’ll find 4 considerations that can help you move beyond seeing veterans/service members as stereotypes, which will help to transform your work into more informed, compassionate clinical practice. 

#1 Discharge Status: How Someone Leaves the Military Affects Their Life After Service

For many service members, discharge status isn’t just a formality listed on a discharge form; it serves as a powerful gatekeeper that determines access to benefits, healthcare, and even community recognition. The general public often assumes that all veterans qualify for services, but eligibility can be surprisingly restrictive.

There are several classifications of discharges: Honorable, General (Under Honorable Conditions), Other Than Honorable, Bad Conduct, Dishonorable, and Medical. Each status carries its own implications for post-service life. A medical discharge may open some doors that other discharges close, while an “Other Than Honorable” discharge can mean losing access to essential programs such as housing assistance, healthcare, or education benefits.

Even among those with Honorable discharges, the picture isn’t always simple. Many veterans find themselves ineligible for certain programs because they aren’t “disabled enough,” didn’t serve in designated combat zones, or don’t meet the narrow criteria of how “veteran” is defined. These definitions vary by organization, state, and funding source, which makes for a confusing web that often leaves veterans feeling invalidated, forgotten, or unsupported.

How Can A Veteran’s Discharge Status Show Up in Therapy? 

This can show up as grief, anger, shame, or disillusionment where one’s emotions are often tangled with questions of worth and belonging. You don’t need to be an expert in military policy to hold space for that. What matters most is curiosity: understanding how institutional decisions around discharge shape a client’s self-concept and access to support.

#2 Era of Service: When and Where a Veteran Served Matters 

No two generations of veterans have experienced military service the same way. The era in which someone served shapes not only what they witnessed or endured but also how they were received when they came home.

For example, Vietnam veterans often returned to public hostility and institutional neglect, learning to compartmentalize their experiences as a matter of survival. Whereas, post-9/11 service members were lauded publicly but still faced the invisible burdens of repeated deployments, ambiguous missions, and moral injury (a cognitive dissonance between the event and pre-existing beliefs and assumptions about how the world operates, often manifesting as a sense of guilt, shame and anxiety.)

Other factors that also shape what military service feels like can include: 

• Age and Identity: 
  
  • Many service members join young, sometimes as teenagers, often before their brains are fully developed. Recruitment messaging appeals to purpose, belonging, and financial security, but the psychological contract formed during these years can become complicated later. 
• Disability: 
  
  • As of 2024, veterans made up about 5% of the U.S. population, and roughly one-third reported having service-connected disabilities. Rates are higher among post-9/11 veterans (about 48%) compared to earlier eras like the Gulf War (around 34%). It’s also worth noting that the process for applying to receive disability compensation through the VA is complicated. Many applicants get discouraged before completing the process.
• Leadership and Power
  
  • Despite the fact that about 18% of the U.S. military is made up of women the “top brass” senior military leaders, usually in their 50s and 60s — have historically been white, cisgender, heterosexual men from middle-to upper-class backgrounds. This imbalance has shaped the military’s culture and policies, often reinforcing inequities and narrowing ideas of what leadership and professionalism “look like.”
• Emotional Conditioning
  
  • The military system relies on its people to perform under immense stress, which is often taught through desensitization and emotional restriction. Service members are taught to dehumanize “the enemy,” suppress fear, and funnel all emotion into anger or humor. 

How Can A Veteran's Age, Power, and Emotional Conditioning Show Up in Therapy? 

When veterans enter therapy, they may be unpacking decisions they made and actions they took before they were developmentally equipped to assess them. and the dissonance can manifest as shame or self-blame.  It may be helpful to validate how their experiences map onto larger conversations about the poverty pipeline and how it plays into the military industrial complex. 

#3 Race, Gender, and Intersectionality: Who Gets to “Belong” In the Military? 

When people picture a “veteran,” the image that often comes to mind is narrow (usually a white, cisgender, heterosexual man.) And while the upper echelon of military leaders often embody those identities, the majority of the military force has always been more diverse and complex than that. Here’s how someone’s race, gender, and sexuality can impact their time spent in the military: 

• Race
  
  • Service members of color have fought bravely while facing systemic discrimination; By means of segregated units, lower pay, and harsher disciplinary outcomes than their white peers. These inequities persist today in promotion processes, unit assignment, and historical recognition.
  • For additional guidance, see the Working with BIPOC Veterans in Therapy section below. 
• Gender
  
  • Women have served in a range of capacities long before integration into combat roles. Yet women often remain outnumbered, navigate harassment, and face pressures to assimilate into masculine norms. 
  • Military sexual assault (MSA) remains prevalent; approximately 1 in 3 servicewomen experience it (underreporting due to fear of retaliation is a factor in why these numbers are approximate.)
  • The military only recognizes two biological sex identifiers and often conflates them with gender. Further, everything from uniforms to fitness standards, barracks and latrines (bathrooms) are organized this way. Even without Trump’s vendetta against trans service members, the military system is not accommodating for gender expansive folks.
• Sexual and Gender Diversity
  
  • Historically, LGBTQ+ veterans have faced exclusion under policies like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (repealed in 2011) and bans on trans people being in the service. Such acts created an environment where service members had to hide parts of themselves for fear of being outed and ending their careers.
  • Queer service members could not have their loved ones present. In the wake of these tides, service members and their families have felt the impacts. 

How Can Intersectionality Show Up in Therapy? 

Veterans of color may bring experiences of racial bias into therapy, influencing trust and engagement. As a clinical example of racial disparities in treatment, here is one study that found Black veterans living in residential treatment for PTSD experience poorer treatment outcomes compared to their white counterparts.

Clinicians should acknowledge the duality of pride and trauma for LGBTQIA+ veterans, affirming their service while recognizing the potential harms they endured. 

4. Military Culture Can Shape A Veteran’s Daily Life and Identity

Military life, especially when someone is in training, is highly structured in that every day, uniform, task, and expectation is scheduled and enforced- All in service of achieving and maintaining “mission readiness.”

Examples of this culture may look like: 

• Typical Workdays: Early wake-ups, uniform inspections, strict scheduling of meals, physical training, and duties pertaining to their MOS (military occupational specialty).
• Physical Readiness: Fitness is mandatory; failure to meet standards can result in disciplinary action, career progression limitations, or even discharge.
• Adherence to General Orders and Military Doctrine: Rules governing behavior, ethics, and accountability influence how service members relate to authority.
• Emotional Conditioning: Training promotes desensitization to violence, dehumanization of the enemy, and suppression of vulnerability. 

How Can The Structure of a Veteran’s Military Life Can Show Up in Therapy: 

Veterans may bring this ingrained structure into the therapeutic space—arriving early, following “rules,” seeking direct guidance, or struggling when boundaries feel flexible. They might also equate emotional control with strength, finding it difficult to express vulnerability or uncertainty. Clinicians can help by gently expanding their comfort with ambiguity, self-compassion, and autonomy while honoring the stability that structure once provided.

How Therapists Can Support Veteran Clients With Curiosity and Care

My call to action for clinicians is this: 

Approach veteran clients not as archetypes of service, trauma, or resilience, but as people who have navigated extraordinary circumstances. Every story deserves attention, respect, and an open mind. Engaging with various media such as veteran memoirs, documentaries, and social media accounts can enhance your understanding and help you provide ethically sound, effective care.

By meeting service members and veterans where they are, clinicians can foster trust, growth, and healing while honoring both the challenges and strengths they carry into the therapy room. I’ve included a lengthy list of resources below that span various forms of media and subject matter within the scope of working with veterans. 

This was meant to be a brief overview of some helpful considerations for clinicians to take into account when working with veterans.For additional support and resource sharing, please consider reaching out to (or starting) a topical interest network/group within your state/national licensing organization dedicated to improving mental health care for veterans.

You can connect with one of our therapists or coaches at The Expansive Group using our intake form. We offer individual and relationship support. In addition, check back regularly for support group openings where you can be in community while healing. 

Resources for Learning About Military Culture

Useful for: Clinicians new to working with veterans and those wanting to understand diverse experiences of service.

• Psych Hub (YouTube channel): Explains how military culture shapes therapy experiences; features clinician–veteran perspectives.
• VeteransMTC (YouTube channel): Veterans share their lived experiences across service eras.
• Head Space and Timing (Podcast): Hosted by a combat veteran and psychologist; bridges clinician and veteran viewpoints.
• Make the Connection Podcast (VA): Firsthand accounts from veterans, ideal for hearing authentic military cultural narratives.
• Afterwar: Healing the Moral Wounds of Our Soldiers by Nancy Sherman (Book):  Pulling from in-depth interviews with veterans, the author explores how veterans can work to reconnect with their emotional selves and heal hardened resentments from moral injuries. She also calls out military-serving organizations that she believes have provided inadequate care to veterans.
• Talking Later: Veterans’ Stories of Late‑Life PTSD (Podcast): Shows how service shapes lives well into aging years.
• The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien (Book):  A classic historical-fiction for understanding service and return, written by a Vietnam veteran.
• Redeployment by Phil Klay (Book): Authored by a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, this selection of short stories focuses on the troops at the frontlines of the war in Iraq.
• Restrepo (Documentary): Offers an immersive view of infantry life in Afghanistan.
• @theveteransproject (Instagram): Comprehensive photographic essay detailing the lives of combat veterans across various wars and their experiences of returning to civilian life.

Resources for Treating PTSD & Related Presentations

Useful for: Clinicians seeking insight into trauma treatment approaches and veterans learning about coping and resilience.

• Once a Warrior by Charles Hoge, MD (Book): Addresses post-service transition and PTSD.
• Achilles in Vietnam by Jonathan Shay, MD, PhD (Book): Foundational text on moral injury.
• Veterans Health Equity (Podcast): Highlights the efforts across VA to address disparities and promote health equity.
• PTSD: A Veteran’s Mental Health Journey (YouTube video):  Personal story highlighting the complexity of PTSD recovery from.
• Addressing the Behavioral Health Care Needs of Our Veterans (YouTube video):  Professional education webinar from the American Medical Association that was intended to support clinicians in their learning about treatment, comorbidity, and systemic barriers that veterans experience.
• Military Mental Health: Supporting Veterans and Service Members (YouTube video):  U.S. Marine Corps veteran, military spouse, and licensed clinical mental health counselor discusses the mental health challenges faced by military personnel and veterans.
• National Center for PTSD (Organization): The VA’s go-to hub for clinicians looking to treat PTSD that also includes a free PTSD consultation program as well as client-facing materials.
• The War and Treaty (Music): A musical duo made up of a veteran husband and his wife who sing about love and healing post-military service.
• Invisible Storm: A Soldier's Memoir of Politics and PTSD by Jason Kander (Book): A memoir from a veteran who had to face his PTSD while he was running for public office.

Resources for Working With LGBTQIA+ Veterans in Therapy

Useful for:  Clinicians exploring the impact of policy (e.g., “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”), identity, and belonging in service contexts.

• Make the Connection (Podcast): Features LGBTQIA+ veteran guests discussing identity and military service.
• TransMilitary (Documentary): Follows the lives and service of 4 transgender military members who advocated for their right to serve their country as openly trans.
• Unbecoming by Anuradha Bhagwati (Book):  A memoir of a Marine officer navigating gender and identity.
• Modern Military Association of America (MMAA) (Organization): Advocacy and resource hub for LGBTQ+ service members, veterans, and families.
• Psych Hub (YouTube): Contains inclusive content on affirming care practices for LGBTQ+ veterans and service members

Resources for Working with Women Veterans in Therapy

Useful for: Clinicians focusing on gendered military experiences, MST, and reintegration challenges.

• “25 Incredible Books About Women in the Military” (Book list): A list of recommended reading from the Women Veterans Interactive Foundation (WVIF) that includes memoirs, biographies, and history.
• Band of Sisters by Kirsten Holmstedt (Book):  Stories of U.S. women at war in Iraq.
• Women Veterans Book Corner (Book list):  A list of women veterans who are authors from the Center for Women Veterans. The books on this list include works focused on women veterans as well as other subjects and genres.
• @ladyveterans (Instagram):  Community account from the Women Veterans Alliance amplifying women veterans’ stories, leadership, and advocacy.
• Served Like a Girl (Documentary):  Follows 7 American women who were wounded in action as they transition to civilian life and compete in the 2015 Ms. Veteran America pageant.
• Take Your Own Notes (Documentary):  Features the stories of five women veterans who connect with each other through their shared experiences in the U.S. military and strive to make an impact in their families and local communities.
• The Invisible War (Documentary):  Hard-hitting but essential for understanding MST.

Resources for Working with BIPOC Veterans in Therapy

Useful for: Clinicians addressing racial inequities and identity-related service experiences.

• Black Body Health: The Podcast - Black Vets I/II/III (Podcast episode series):  From a podcast that focuses on the health and well-being of Black people, this series highlights Black veterans’ health, service, and identities.
• @BlackVeteransProject (Instagram):  Shares intersectional stories of Black veterans, often including queer and trans veterans of color.
• Why We Serve: Native Americans in the United States Armed Forces by Alexandra Harris & Mark Hirsch (Book): Chronicles 250 + years of military service by Native Americans.
• Veterans: Native Stories (Book list):  A list of stories about Native service members, useful for deeper bibliographic exploration at the intersection(s) of these identities
• Black Veterans Empowerment Council (BVEC) (Organization):  An organization focused on advocacy, direct assistance, and reform for Black veterans, citing statistics on poverty, unemployment, and housing among Black veteran populations.
• The Registry (Documentary):  Focuses on the hidden history of the MIS (Military Intelligence Service) an all-but-forgotten unit made of mostly Japanese Americans, who played a crucial role in shortening WWII.
• Office of Minority Veterans (Directory):  A list of resources for U.S. military veterans of color.
• Asian American History 101 - Honoring Asian American Veterans (Podcast episode):  Explores AAPI military service and identity, specifically within veterans of Filipino, Japanese, and Chinese descent.
• Proving Patriotismo: Latino Military Recruitment, Service and the American Dream by Adam McGlynn & Jessica Lavariega Monforti (Book):  Through survey research and other forms of data collection and analysis, the authors provide a nuanced historical contextualization of Latinx enlistment, service motivations, and identity in the U.S. military.
• National Association of Minority Veterans (NAMVETS) of America (Organization):  A non-profit veteran-service organization focused on equitable access to VA benefits, economic advancement, and housing for veterans of color.
• Patriots from the Barrio (Podcast):  Historian Dave Gutierrez presents stories of Latino American service members, spanning WWII and beyond.
• American Latino Veterans Association (ALVA) (Organization):  A non-profit whose mission is to support Latino veterans after their military service and also to ensure that their community’s contributions in military history do not go unacknowledged.

Veteran-Specific Support: Housing, Employment, and Reintegration

Useful for: Clinicians and clients seeking practical or community-based support.

• VetsPrevail (Online program): Digital peer-support and behavioral-health resources that connect veterans to coaching and career tools.
• Make the Connection: Real Veterans. Real Stories. (Podcast):  Presents the stories of diverse veterans discussing identity, military service, recovery from trauma, and readjustment.
• VA Health Systems Research (VA HSR&D) Podcast: Understanding Who's at Risk for Food Insecurity (Podcast episode):  Alicia Cohen, MD, MSc, talks about her research regarding food insecurity among veterans and urges clinicians to assess the risk factors for it.
• Stolen Valor: How the Vietnam Generation Was Robbed of Its Heroes and Its History by B. G. Burkett & Glenna Whitley (Book): A Vietnam veteran  teamed up with a journalist to discuss the many instances of falsified service or “stolen valor” and how the media’s indifference in fact-checking these claims  impacted how service, identity, and credibility of Vietnam vets are perceived

• Team Rubicon (Organization):  A veteran-led disaster response org that often writes about identity and service beyond combat.
• Women Veterans Call Center:  1-855-VA-WOMEN (Hotline):  Helps to connect women veterans to services and supports.
• National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) (Organization):  Maintains a centralized directory of housing and employment programs.
• Hire Heroes USA (Organization): Job search support for veterans and spouses.
• National Veteran-Owned Business Association (NaVOBA) (Organization):  A nonprofit organization dedicated to advancing the interests of veteran-owned businesses.
• National Veterans Legal Services Program (Organization): offers free legal counsel to veterans, active duty personnel (and their dependents) who have disabilities resulting from their military service.
• The Institute for Learning, Education, and Development (ILEAD) (Website):  Provides a list of podcasts related to veterans’ experiences across varying identities, diagnoses, and quality of life concerns.

Picture Credit: Special Opps